Seems like that was summer!

The weather has been extraordinarily warm here recently. For 4 days I just sat in the garden reading, sunbathing and watching the birds. Sometimes I even had to go inside to cool down because the sun was too hot. This is definitely not what I was led to expect it would be like in Scotland. However, whilst I was strolling along the lane to the post box in my little sleeveless top and floaty skirt the other day, a neighbour encouraged me to make the most of it because apparently this is summer, it will last approximately one week, and this will be all we get. Other neighbours have also delighted in informing me that in a few weeks time we will be eaten alive by midges, and this will continue unabated until September. I am continuing to remain optimistic. None of the dire predictions about the awful Scottish climate have yet come true. The sky is brilliant blue, the air is fresh and clear, the waters of the loch are like crystal and we have tits and finches falling in love in the garden. The gorse, daffodils and primroses are blooming in the hedgerows and the formerly bare branches of the trees are covered with a light green gauze. The best is yet to come.

Pulled myself together

My appointment with the volunteer bureau went really well. There are lots of interesting volunteering opportunities out there, and many of them have training courses attached. I have applied to do training in adult literacy tutoring, mentoring a primary school child and advocacy. All of these trainings are nationally recognised and will be useful if, after volunteering for a while, I find I like one of those jobs, they can lead to paid work. I have long been looking for some way to get out of secretarying and move into something more interesting. As there is a short wait before I can begin these training courses, I have also volunteered to take the sweet/newspaper trolley around the hospital wards, and join a time bank. A time bank is where you offer your skills, be they dog walking, hairdressing or accountancy etc and for every hour of time you bank, you are able to claim an hour of someone else's skills eg I could have someone drive me somewhere if necessary.

I have also met another of my neighbours and had a long chat with her yesterday. She tells me that the local shop/post office/cafe is looking for staff to cover their busy lunch period 3 days a week. She encouraged me to apply. This needs thinking about.

But the main thing is, I have pulled myself together and recaptured some energy and enthusiasm.

Rural life

Two months into rural living, I've been reflecting on whether it is as I expected it to be. I thought the hardest thing about moving away would not so much be the rural aspect of it, but the distance from family and friends. However that has worked pretty well so far. I'm writing more letters, making more phone calls and sending more emails, but it seems to be working - and I have done a few long weekend trips down to see them.

I knew it would be different not working for a while, but that was all part of the master plan - take 6 months off and really chill out and think about what I want to do next (find myself!). In the past when I have not been working for any length of time ie after an operation, or my 3 months spell of unemployment last summer, I have always been able to fill my time in a positive, satisfying way. I would read as much as I wanted to, write, teach myself to draw, study something, do yoga, grow things, meet my working friends for girly lunches. My time went so quickly that I didn't know how I used to find time to work full time.

Now, however, when I have all the time I need to do all of those things (except maybe the lunches with friends, sadly) I don't feel motivated to do them. I am reading a lot, but then I always have and always will, it's like breathing to me, but reading is a very passive thing. I am spending too much time sleeping, sitting around staring into the fire, or reading. I think the reason for that is that I am not getting any external stimulation. There is no hustle and bustle in my life, no adrenaline, no television, nothing unexpected (unless you count power cuts).

I am currently debating with myself whether this matters. Maybe it is my mind and body's way of recovering from a whole life in the rat race and acclimatising to a more natural rhythm. Perhaps I should just go with the flow and see what unfolds. It is, after all, winter, the time for rest and reflection. As spring gets under way, maybe my sap will rise, and along with it my motivation. Or maybe (and this is the most likely, I think) I will sit around like a vegetable until the money runs out some time around June and then I will have to haul myself back onto the hamster wheel as before.

Anti-climax

I suppose it was inevitable really; feeling a bit flat after the excitement of the big move and getting to know a new place etc. When Lover and I were getting on each other's nerves recently we became painfully aware that we only had each other to talk to and do things with. Our friends and family seemed very far away and we felt lonely, bored and isolated.

However, I have now started to pull myself together and look outwards and upwards. I have an appointment on Tuesday at the volunteer bureau to find volunteering opportunities both as a way to feel useful, and a way to get out and meet people. There is nothing that puts things into perspective better than helping others less fortunate than oneself, right?

And Spring is almost here. That means there will be long days with light evenings, when people will be out and about and (hopefully) arranging all kinds of community social events.

It's the dark before the dawn, I'm sure of it. Onward and upward!

Making new friends

It's high time we got out and started to make friends, but it hasn't been easy. Our first attempt was a visit to the local pub on a Saturday night. We thought we should go on a Saturday because it was likely to be the most lively night, hence the opportunity to show our faces to as many new people as possible. There were 5 people in there, all standing around the bar, all men. It was quiet. On enquiry, a neighbour told us that most of the local people go to another pub, because the one we went to tends to be a bit dour. So the following Saturday night we tried the other pub. There were 7 people in there all standing around the bar, all men. However mine host greeted us cheerily when we entered, and gave us a cheery goodbye when we left.

So I made a different attempt. I went to ladies keep-fit at the community hall. There were 8 of us women there but I was the youngest by a good 20 years, and believe me I am no spring chicken! They were lovely old biddies though, and made me feel very welcome, so I am going back again next week.

I never thought I would say this so soon, but I think I need to get a job. Just part-time, just to put me in a position where people are forced to speak to me. But I'm not complaining, I knew it wouldn't be easy.

What's the weather like up there?

Everyone keeps asking me about snow. Before I left Liverpool to come to Scotland everyone, and I mean everyone said to me "it'll be cold up there". Well do you know what? It's not so bad. From what I have heard on the radio almost everywhere in England has had it worse than us. Almost every text or email I get the sender asks have we had any snow, and one person said, we watch the weather every morning and have seen your snow. It's not our snow, we haven't had snow. Well, no, one lunchtime we sat in the kitchen and watched huge heavy snowflakes fall and within half an hour there was a good covering of snow everywhere. We immediately ran outside to photograph the phenomenon, and it's a good job we did because half an hour later it was gone and we haven't seen any since. So for those of you who want to know about the snow, see picture. And for those of you who like cats, see other picture.

Highland life part 2

Inside my lovely farmhouse is just as nice as outside.

I am such a lucky blogger!

Living in Scotland

The old Hopeless has left the building. The new Hopeless has stopped vacillating hopelessly and has not only made up her mind but been and gone and done it! I have moved from the north west of England to the north west of Scotland. My Lover and I are living in a long rambling farmhouse in a tiny hamlet on the shore of Loch Fyne. Our nearest village is 3 miles away, and our nearest town is 20 miles away. Even in the depths of winter this has to be the most beautiful place on the earth. Our house is surrounded by hills and trees, and everywhere we look the view is breathtaking.

I used to live in a little two up two down terraced house that opened directly onto the street, and had a little back yard. It was off the main Liverpool to Southport thoroughfare, and there was traffic noise all day and all night. Every kind of shop was within easy reach by foot, the railway station was a 10 minute walk away and the office where I worked was a 5 minute walk away. I left there 2 days before Christmas and came here. I don't have a job because I can't drive and the bus service is minimal, not to mention that the nearest bus stop is 3 miles away in the village.

I now live in a single storey traditional farmhouse. I have a utility room! We have a garden and outbuildings. There is a cowshed next door with pregnant cows and newly delivered calves. The surrounding fields are full of sheep, who come and visit our garden and eat the grass. Our lounge has windows on both sides with magnificent views. Our garden is full of chaffinces, blue tits and robins. It's a bit nippy, especially at night, but unlike the south of England, we have not yet had any serious snow. When it gets dark at night it gets DARK and there seem to be many more stars here than we ever saw in town. But am I happy? You bet your bum I am!!